3 Reasons Why I'll Never Return to Vietnam

My sis is now in Hanoi for a short holiday, despite me and 101 other people telling her not to go. Reason is because Vietnam sucks big time!

When I visited Hanoi in November 2007, I came back vowing never to return again, just like what travel blogger Normadic Matt said in his website: "There’s not enough money in the world to get me to go back to Vietnam."

1) Dishonesty
First of all, the Vietnamese are a bunch of dishonest people. In fact, they are so dishonest, they bring dishonesty to the next level.

I know it's unfair to label ALL Vietnamese people as dishonest, as this may be a case of a few bad apples spoiling the bunch. But based on my experiences, the bad apples are indeed MANY.

The mother of all cheat experiences happened within my first few hours of landing in Hanoi.

I was exploring the streets of Hanoi when I saw a girl carrying a basket of pastries. She asked me in broken English if I wanted to buy some. At that time I had just arrived and was rather hungry, so I thought why not? Moreover I kasihan (pity) her lah.

I didn't have any small change with me, so I asked if she had change for a big note, to which she said yes.

So I chose 3 pastries which costs 20,000 Dong and handed her a 50,000 Dong note. She took the money, tucked it into her waist pouch, picked up her basket and started moving away. When I asked for my change, she gave me a smug look and kept on repeating, "Vietnam pastries, very good, very delicious" and kept moving away. Soon she was lost in the crowd.

I did not give chase for fear of getting waylaid into an alley where thugs are waiting to beat the crap out of me. You'll never know what sort of syndicate is going on and it's always better to be safe than sorry, especially being a foreigner there.

That incident happened at the beginning of my Hanoi trip and it spoilt the rest of it as I had to constantly watch my back for fear someone may just come up and rob me. My mind was not free to absorb the culture and atmosphere of Hanoi and I hated that feeling.

2) Nothing really interesting to see
Apart from having a drab and dull landscape which mades poor photos for my point-and-shoot camera, there's nothing much to see and do in Hanoi.

Of course there's the famous Tha Long Water Puppet Theatre, but there's perpetually a long queue at the ticket counter. After spending like 30 minutes in queue, the ticket seller puts up a sign saying "Sold Out" and the line disperses.

Later another traveller told me she bought her ticket from the same counter after me. So what's happening here? Why tell people tickets are sold out when it's not the actual case? If this is how they do business, then I wouldn't want to spend my money making the water puppet theatre richer.

Hoan Keim Lake is a good landmark to navigate your way around Hanoi. But look at how drab the lake looks. The more interesting subjects to observe there would be the benches where couples neck away like there's no tomorrow.

3) Language problem
Language was a huge problem. The Vietnamese can't communicate in simple English. Everywhere I went I had to use sign language or whatever forms of communication known to humankind.

And when they speak English, it doesn't sound like English.

I was at the Tourism Office in the middle of Hanoi to make a few enquiries and to book a taxi to the airport for the next day.

The officer there spoke English that didn't sound like English, and I had a difficult time trying to tell her what I wanted. I was worried she may not understand me but thankfully the taxi arrived on time and I kissed goodbye to Vietnam, vowing never to return unless it's a matter of life and death.

Ordering food from roadside stalls can be a nightmare. First, you don't know which meat to point at (choose). Silap-silap point, get dogs meat. Secondly the hawker won't be able to tell you how much a bowl of pho (noodles) costs. But thank God we all share the same numerical system and for electronic devices to display the figure.