Shy Guys Finish Last

I went out for meals with C a couple of times. There was also a period when he emailed me every morning asking how's work.

C exhibited all the signs of a guy who's interested in a relationship, but I was not sure because he never said anything. He never asked if I'm seeing anyone or if I had a bf.

But common sense tells me that a guy who consistently asks a girl out and emails her every single day is most probably a guy who's interested in becoming more than friends.

One day when we were casually talking about relationships, I seized the opportunity to ask C:

Me: Are you looking for a relationship?

C: Whenever I meet a girl I'll size her up to see if she could be a potential candidate for my clients (C is a headhunter).

With a crappy answer like that, I didn't probe further because I didn't want to embarass him. He came across as a loser for not having the balls to say something.

I decided I'm not going to bother asking again, and that we should just remain acquaintances. A guy with no balls is not worth my time. Moreover he's not my type.

Soon C was in-between jobs and there was no contact for a couple of weeks.

About 2 weeks ago I received a call from a friend asking if I knew any guy to introduce to her colleague's sis-in-law. I immediatly thought of C!

So I sms-ed him and this is how our messages went:

Me: Hi C. How are you? Hey, just out of curiosity, are you interested in looking for a relationship?

C: I am. How about you?

(I think C must have thought I was the one asking and must have been thrilled thinking I was finally making the first move. But to assume that would have made an ass of you and me. So I told C the reason I was asking ...)

Me: A friend of mine is looking for a decent guy to introduce to her colleague's sis-in-law. I immediatly thought of you. Nothing serious, just get to know each other first. Would you be interested?

C: Friend's first, right?

Me: Of course! You don't have to think about buying a ring yet!

C: I'll buy a ring for you lar. Ha ha.

Me: :-)

(This is the part when I thought we'd discuss how to introduce the both of them. But I thought wrong. Read on ...)

C: Sure you got plenty of guys who are willing to buy you a ring, right?

Me: What does that suppose to mean?

C: You surely got many guy friends who are keen on you.

Me: What makes you think that?

C: You are ... blah, blah, blah (a string of compliments).

(My head swelled for like 1 second, and I politely replied: )

Me: Ah yo ... Don't say like that lah ... Thanks, I'm flattered! :-)

C: True mah.

----- Messages ends -----

C must be disappointed that I wanted to introduce him to another girl. All his efforts to hint that he likes me had gone down the drain. I guess that's the reason he probed to see if I had a bf. If I told him I had one, he would be thinking that's the reason I'm not interested in him.

And he thinks that by complimenting me I might finally get the hint.

Before the string of messages, C never asked if I had a bf, did not say he's interested to become more than friends, nor did he compliment me in any way. He just treated me like a friend.

Now when I want to introduce him to another girl, then only want to talk like that.

When I attempted to play matchmaker, C could have said something like:

"I don't want to be introduced to another girl; I want to get to know you better. That's why I asked you out a few times."

But he still didn't have the balls to speak up. So I gave him the girl's email hoping he'd contact her and let things be.

The moral of the story is that if you like a girl, for heavens sake, please tell her!

There's no harm in letting a girl know how you feel. At least things would be clear between the both of you. Don't do things that will make a girl get all confused about your intentions. She can't read your mind.

If the girl rejects you, so what! At least you showed her that you had the balls to tell her how you feel. Who knows, she might feel cherished and might want to explore the relationship further, even if she does not have any feelings for you yet.

But what's worst is that she might think that you're treating her as just a friend. And when she becomes someone else's gf, that's when you'll be banging balls.

I know that confessing your feelings is definitely easier said than done, and not everybody has the guts to do it for fear of rejection. But it has to be done or you might regret it.

So guys, speak up or forever hold your peace.